I’m up again. Usually when I’m up in the middle of the night it’s from a mixture of my hormones shifting and WORRY. The first thing I always do…Check on the kids to make sure they’re breathing. A habit I formed early on when I was terrified of SIDs. They’re 10 and 8 now: I think it’s a pretty safe bet that they’ll be breathing all night.
Usually when I have insomnia I’m up with a feeling of worry about the future or regret about the past. But tonight is different. Tonight I’m right here in the middle. Mixed in my cocktail of hormones (or lack thereof) I’m feeling excitement. Excitement about being on the brink. Things are happening: Two new upcoming film festivals, applications to three fellowship programs, pre-production on my new short film, new articles coming out.
Something good is coming…okay break out into Westside Story song here…Tony: “Something’s coming, I don’t know what it is, but it is gonna be great…!” (By the way, why does he have to die at the end? My favorite thing to do is TURN IT OFF before the bad ending. I’m such a sap:)
But I digress. Back to my excitement-filled insomnia:
To all the other Moms in the Middle out there, awake in the wee hours…Life is just beginning. I’m here to assure you. Follow your heart, explore your passions and fly. Dip your toe in, start with a class…don’t be afraid to try something you’ve always wanted to try. I started being an actress in Los Angeles when I was pushing 40. I stepped in a puddle that turned out to be a lake. And so can you. Now go get some sleep. The kids will be up soon.